Friday 4 May 2007

Moooo cuddle cuddle

By now you'll have realised that making up titles aren't exactly my gift, so I'll shut up about it now. What I found yesterday though, is quite fitting with the title of this blog.

Mothers day is less than 2 weeks from now, and obviously we all want to please ours, so off we go looking for original ideas on-line. Chocolate, been there.. perfume, done that. And then, I found the mothers day top 10. Huzzah, standard as f--- probably, but it's never a bad thing to go over the basics anyhow.

Basics my backside. There it was, staring at me from position number 3. "Comfy Cow Cuddling". 3 hours of training and practise in the art of hugging cows. 3 f-cking hours. Apparently it's good for your creativity and innovation, and helps you tackle complex problems. 40 euros p.p.

Now I don't personally think 40 euros is a lot for a "nice" day out, but I'd spend it elsewhere. What does concern me, is that people go out and do this, and then come home and complain that their milk has gotten 1c more expensive.

There's times I wish there was a government agency who would identify the people on such sites (the ones in the picture mind, not the ones looking at it, I'd be buggered) and take them away to sense-camp.

Anyhow, linky. Its in dutch tho.

Wednesday 25 April 2007

Hi, my name is Hugh.

Hugh Hefner, apparently.

It's not every day you walk into a store to buy 4 pc's, 2 very well equipped desktop, a decent med-spec desktop, and a very VERY nice lappie. The store clerk started calling me hugh after a while, amusing, keeps the shopping more interesting anyhow. Love the fact that every one waiting in line while I kept 33% of the staff busy for over 2 hours was getting pissed off too, love it more when they then proceeded to order a crap 500 euro pc and still expected some massive discount because they saw another pc in an advertisement for less!1!!1!evelenty!1!1!111!!!!!

I won't go into what I told those idiots, had a good laugh with the clerk anyhow. Although he mostly giggled as I think it's bad for business to laugh in the face of your retarded income.

Anyhow, should have my beastie on tuesday... :D I hate waiting.

Thursday 19 April 2007

Speechless














Wouldn't normally do this, but this is just.... amazing.

It's so mine.

Only a few more months of saving....

Wednesday 18 April 2007

Hi, I'm with the police..

To be honest, I couldn't think of a fitting title.... but to the point:

I just got off thehometrainer (bike thing) in my black bikey pants, all tired and about to hop into the shower. But no, some guy at the door insists on ringing the doorbell. Fair enough, I go down, and he shows police ID and asks some questions about a break-in 3 houses away from us, because of a top floor no-one else in the street has you can see into that garden and also the window through which they came. Now this makes sense, ID looked ok, guy looked ok, questions seemed ok. However when we're finished, and I walk up to grab some stuff, I notice this guy is taking a leak into the hedge of the neighbours. I took a picture too, will put that up when I connect my phone to my other pc.

I mean.. seriously.. wtf.

Called the police just to verify that this wasn't some hoax guy looking for targets or something, they said it was one of their officers. Considered being nice and telling them it was nothing, but then again... if they fine you for driving 54 in a 50 road that would be a 90 road in Belgium or so, I guess he deserves some shite for peeing in someones garden. All in the name of justice of course.

Tuesday 17 April 2007

And the lazy bastard award goes to....

So I totally suck for not writing in.. forever. It's just been hectic lately, didn't really find time in between spending time with the sweetest girl I could possibly imagine, fixing crap, and dealing with psychiatric patients at some institute who figured it would be smart to hire someone who generally doesn't give a crap about complete idiots... that, and I laugh in the face of danger, as well as the face of people with such rediculous mental disorders that there is really nothing else you can do. More on that, later, and I mean soon-later, not 2-months later.

Why write now? Because I am being paid for the next few minutes, and I have nothing to do til the end, going home isnt an option since it won't pay. Basically, the good life, except it would be the better life if I could just go I guess.

Typical case as usual, except I actually upset someone for removing their passwords. Now I'm well aware that the option to remember the password is handy, meaning you don't have to remember it yourself in that one brain cell you've got. But this, was a startup password, that you *have* to enter when you load the system. Which means, that you actually *type* it every day... and you can't remember? Jezus, just pretend you need to enter it and write it in notepad or something. Ah well; a stupid person a day, keeps me happy. Not quite as catchy as the one that had something to do with a doctor, but it works for me. :)

Sunday 25 February 2007

O.o

I linked a video a while ago with a girl on some slingshot.

http://www.dumpalink.com/videos/Catapult_Flight-03kf.html

Takes it just a tad further.

Suicide is hip.

Saturday 24 February 2007

Hotel Prisonia

http://www.telegraaf.nl/binnenland/54308251/Friese_arrestanten_krijgen_cel_vol_luxe.html

It's in dutch.. ah well.

Basically, we're getting a new prison. Prisoners will get a pc/console with games, tv with some decent channels. Beige/soft-green painted to reduce aggression. Bigger cells for inmates with claustrophobia.

Police spokesperson said that the police should treat the prisoners as guests from now on.

Lol.

Fuck that.

Wednesday 14 February 2007

More ignorance.

This is about what happened when working yesterday. It was going to be fairly easy, leaving enough time to have some fun in the kitchen and play some SC. Of course, it was easy, to solve the problems that is.

However trying to inform 2 completely ignorant people on just exactly how stupid their ideas were was pretty damn tough.

I'll give the short recap.

- Person A, has a few businesses, and with that, come a few 'problems', ie. Someone is likely to dislike you. However, just because you feel like someone is out to harass you, doesn't mean that they're suddenly able to pull of uberhacking stunts. Sure, it's possible, but what made it so rediculous is that the "result" was e-mail being blocked. Now I found it after about 30 seconds (surprised no-one else did), simple error in the settings. Now it's quite possible that a "hacker" did this, but given the security installed there would be 10000 simpler ways to harass you, that would also be more effective, including driving a truck through your wall, shooting you in the face, stealing your stuff, and flying out of the country all without being caught. And don't yell at me for being right, that'll just cost more, mmkay?

- Person B. Now person B isn't as stubborn as person A, but nevertheless plain fcking ignorant. Mind you, ignorant people can still be rather nice, such as person A, but that's not the point. To describe the level of idiocy we're dealing with here, I only need 1 sentence: Just because your just-bought pc has files on it (more specifically, a windows and a program files folder, both filled with stuff), doesn't mean the store ripped you off and sold you a second hand pc. Of course, I could continue and say that then proceeding to delete these so-called second hand files would really be a rather daft thing to do, as well as then proceeding to go back to the store and demand your money back. But I guess I don't have to do that to make it clear exactly how hopeless some really are.

Could have imagined that happening in 1990, but in 2007?

Every time I get the slightest bit of hope for our race, it gets shot down again. sigh.

Monday 12 February 2007

Hey Alex ;-)

2 words.

Supreme Commander.

And no, no demo.

Of course I'll look rediculous if you had it yesterday already.

For those uninformed, it's a new game, fancy too, and he wants it bad. And I have it *chuckle*.

Thursday 8 February 2007

I'm.. too lazy for my shirt.. too lazy for...

Well, not really. I've actually being doing a massive clean-up operation. Current status is 5 trash-bags, a huge pile of magazines, and 1 big box full of .. stuff. Ask me what I got rid of? I honestly have no idea any more, I guess I can live without it all eh.

Now, that means some stuff has happened that I haven't had time to write about yet, including something about.. snow. Will do that later.

Reason I'm posting now, is that once in a while you come across something that is so simple, you wonder why it hasn't been done before.

The USB-Cell




















Makes sense doesn't it? That, and most usb "accesories" I come across these days really are about as useful as having a sheep when you're on an abandoned island alone...... wait...

Saturday 3 February 2007

I'm fairly sure that...

That one sentence I just cannot stand any more.

Now it's not too bad to deal with complete idiots half the day, I mean, if they weren't, who would pay me? Idiots that take a guess at what the problem is? That's alright too, amusing even if I get lucky. However idiots with no clue whatsoever, and a very strong belief that they're actually right, can really drive me to the edge.

The edge where I end up charging more, so perhaps I shouldn't care, but regardless.

For that particular someone's privacy's sake, I'll call it... it.

me >> The reason none of the e-mails get through is because of this software.
it >> But you had it working earlier.
me >> As I said earlier, once I get it working, it'll probably break again because of that other software you have, that I really have to remove and replace with something better
it >> oh.. ok

And as I so often mistakenly do, I assume it's sorted. However, let's fast forward 30 seconds of deep thought in "it's" brain.

it >> I'm fairly sure that it has to do with that cable there.

Now picture this, a laptop, with 2 cables attached. 1 being the power-cord, that I had attached a few minutes ago after the battery went low, and the other, being the ethernet cable, you know, the one you plug in to connect a pc to the network. I'm fairly fucking certain that 1) having power, and 2) having a connection to the network are NOT the causes for mail-issues.

Obviously this can go only 3 ways; I mess with them and tell a ghost story about the cables or I explain what the cables are and the discussion dies. Even though I didn't feel like killing my entertainment for the day, I figured it was the right thing to do. Wait, didn't I say 3 ways? Almost forgot, but apparently IDIOTS manage to find some ridiculous other option, in this case: I explain what the cables are, "it" refuses to acknowledge that it made a mistake, and makes itself look even dumber.

Seriously people, just save yourself and the rest of the world the trouble and stab yourself in the heart.. like now.

Anyhow, my advantage in this scenario over "it" of actually having a clue meant that I fixed it, however found another "serious complication" that's unfortunately rather costly to fix. Even the best of folk could have missed such a thing in the past.

Wednesday 31 January 2007

And back..

Well, more than a week later anyway.

I'll share more about what happened soon(tm), on both my ski-trip, and perhaps in the week after that, one I spent doing absolutely nothing constructive and simply enjoyed myself with my loving girlfriend.

But first let me tell you about right now..

Right now, I'm enjoying the pleasures of one of them u3 usb stick thingies. Playing around the web (ie. this blog), enjoying msn, *and* somehow, mysteriously, doing my job, making some money. Now this only works of course when you're left alone (like now). Not because people have a fucking clue what I do when I'm typing, but it just allows you to be sarcastic about folk you're working for, while they pay you, without having to worry at all about them *maybe* having a clue.

Is it proper work ethics? Probably not.

Do people who invest €1000s in electronics and toys (including 500€ worth of coffee machine) yet refuse to pay a few dozen euros for pc security (think maintenance, antivirus, etc) after being told repeatedly how very very important it is have it coming? Absolutely.


Edit:
Well, after a chat I had 1 minute ago, I figured I should add a bit of the conversation I had with the folk I was working at earlier.

me: "Nice machine there" (coffee maker)
them: "Oh yes, we have this one, and these two here, 170 euros each, but amazing"
me: "Nice indeed, now, where were we, ah yes, maintenance. Proper pc-cleaning and such, the type that works automatically when I'm not around, and when you're not using the pc for anything intensive, shouldn't cost more than about... 40 euros"
them: "Oh, but I don't want to spend any more money, I need a 5000 euro operation"

I wanted to give them a wondered look and say "I thought brain surgery was way more expensive", but I guess one shouldn't bite the hand that feeds you entertainment. That's also the reason why I didn't offer free software in exchange for a titanium coffee maker. Doubt they'd been able to laugh about that anyhow.

Wednesday 17 January 2007

Another fine sample of the human specimen.

Clicky Clicky

Even though you must admit it looks pretty damn neat at first, I bet most who see that will have one thought before the end of the movie.

"I sure as hell won't be the one doing that."

Why? Because most have half a brain. Personally I tried watching the movie and imagined the rope snapped.

I bet that would have made the movie a lot more popular online too.

3 in a day.

Just a honourary mention for a friend. Who I said hi to as he came online (Both on msn and Eve-online), he didn't respond at first, but after about a minute on msn:

Rhumskull says: o/ on work call m8y
Rhumskull says: doing a presentation while playing eve

Who said that men can't do 2 things at once?

Sigh, part 50.

Now without going into too much detail about what I do for work, it's about trouble-shooting pc and other technical things, mostly pc's however. This of course means that 90% of the time, the problem isn't technical at all, it's human. I will write on the human cluelessness part quite some more in the future, however this time it's not about people and their hopeless pc skills, it's about culture, and integration.

You see, there are people that pay the price quite clearly written, people that pay double because they want to make sure they are a priority, and people that, you guessed it, would rather not pay at all. This post of course, is about the latter. Having done this for years, I can see them coming from miles away, in fact, even over a phone line. This one however, I've visited before.

me: Hi, this is ..(me, obviously)..
her: allo
me: hey there, how can I help you?
her: I have problem
me: (thinking "no shit") What's the problem?
her: it broken, no more work

Now, I'm assuming by now you guessed that she's not a local. Of course since I am leaving tomorrow, I have plenty of other stuff to worry about, so I told her I can't help her for another week because I was going away a while.

Nothing extreme so far eh? That's right. So I asked if that was ok with her, or if she wanted to get help elsewhere, since a week pc-less is quite a problem for most. She said she'd rather wait for me... oh the flattery...

or not... because this is where it does take an unexpected turn..

"because you here before, I pay you last time, you help me"

Did she just? Surely it's a misunderstanding. So I check to make sure if I heard her correctly, and apparently I did, and "where she come from is normal". Now, being a reasonable person I figured I would give her one chance to admit she's retarded, had a brain-fart, and to realise how life in the west works, by explaining it to her in nice and simple words. I did so in a few sentences that started with "I'm sorry, however.." and ended with "I hope you understand."

Of course I wouldn't be posting this if she had taken up on this educative opportunity. In fact, she did quite the opposite.

She called me a racist.

That is literally what she called me. Now I've heard a fair few things, but this goes beyond anything I've come across all these years. This really is too much to comprehend even for a rather well developed brain like mine. I guess I'll just use my friend Darwin again, and say that some monkey's clearly never evolved.

Dear Miss, I'm sorry feel victimised for having to pay per hour just like the rest of the bloody country. I wish you a safe flight back to Morocco, and all the best convincing the baker to give you free bread since you paid for one last time and you ate it all.

12 hours from now...

.. I should be on my way to Austria. The criminal case against the guy that hit me, with his car as I'm usually slightly too big for anyone to walk up to and hit me with their fists, comes before the judge tomorrow morning, so it all depends on how that goes.

Option 1: He loses his license, I'm off before lunch.
Option 2: He loses his license, they need me to hang around for hours, I have a night-drive.
Option 3: He doesn't lose his license, I'm off before lunch.

Now Option 4 is the tricky one. If he doesn't lose his license, and I 'give the guy a heartattack', apparently the police might interfere with me going on vacation. Ridiculous world we're living in, gone be the time where the victim had actual rights.

Tuesday 16 January 2007

Meh

That's a title I'll probably use a lot more in the future, but quite frankly, I have no other way of expressing myself about what happened yesterday.

Having a day off is never a bad thing, especially if you need to buy something important, in this case, headphones. After spending a good few hours finding out what I should and shouldn't get, I make my way to the stores, because walking out the door with the headset in my hand seemed more satisfying than waiting for an order confirmation mail, a package sent mail, and opening the door for my package a day or two later.

Except, no-one had the Sennheiser pc160 headset I wanted, just the cheaper one pc150, which I had, but now the pc160 is the top model. However I know myself, and don't want to get the cheaper one when there is a more expensive one, makes sense no? So, number 2 on my list, a speedlink Medusa 5.1 ProGamer... nope, none. Just the "Mobile" model, which again, is the inferior model. I kind of threw my list away at this point.

And there it was, a big black box, with a headset with blue led's, 5.1 surround sound, and a price tag of a small Korean cookie jar (ie. Car). Surely that had to be good. However, you can never be too sure, so I went back home, read up on it, and decided it would do... well, it would do rather nicely, and then some.

About an hour later again I find myself quickly removing the wrapping, I get that way with new electronics, and my girlfriend, but I digress.

First thought? Shiny.
*inserts the 27 different cables you need to make it work into computer*
Second thought? VERY Shiny.
*turns on the music* Hm, that's not right.
*turns on a game* Meh. (See what I'm getting at?)

It's broken. Front right speaker doesn't work. So, I spend another hour going back, getting my money back, because well, they don't have the sennheiser either, and that headset I bought was the only one in the whole country.

Ah well, I'll keep reminding myself that I'm going on a ski trip this Thursday, so really shouldn't complain at all. Headphones don't keep you warm in wintertime after all.

Sunday 14 January 2007

Meh, more expenses.

Although I must admit that I have been fairly lucky with warranty so far (even though you often have to pay for it, for example with Dell). I've had an lcd-screen, 2 HD's, 2 Video cards, an xbox controller, 2 sets of speakers (still have one spare due to it, silly people sometimes) and various other stuff replaced without any cost under warranty.

This time however, I wasn't so lucky. I managed to somehow drop my Sennheiser headset. It was laying on my desk, and the 5 kilometer long cable that is attached to it (Why they do this, I don't know) was stuck around the armrest on my chair. You roll your chair back, and bam.

So, I grab my files, and look for the receipt. Two years warranty is pretty standard on electronic equipment, I'd say it's not an unfair policy.

Unless of course, your headset is 2 years and 1 week old. 91 euros for a similar (slightly better now) replacement. That, and now I have to be active tomorrow and go to a store to see if they can fix it.

I can't help but think though... why would a headset need a cable that's.. well not 5km, but around 5 meters I'd say. Seriously.

Hold your Wii

Clicky

... and on the 82305821th day, Darwin rested, and he saw that it was good.


Oh, and before anyone replies "Omg we're all God's creatures!" Click again

And if you still feel the urge to reply "The ways of the Lord are often incomprehensible", I won't let you click something again, instead, I'll smack you in the face with a bible.. repeatedly.

I guess sometimes they just turn out to be "very" incomprehensible.

Saturday 13 January 2007

Wooosh




Now the above image might not mean much to most people, it does to me. Click it to see the larger version by the way.

These of course happen to be my new skis, and it's something I've been waiting for for a while, not easy to get them in my size with the fitting I need, because I happen to be the complete pwn in that department. I really can't wait to go out there and splash snow all over these talented people that set up camp on the middle of a piste, or even better, just after a small incline so that folk can't see you when they're coming down the slope.

Death, will find you...

Hopefully by a snowdozer though, at least that means I won't be liable.

Friday 12 January 2007

In the name of Justice

That the Dutch are a liberal people, is no secret. That this is also the case when it comes to the police, the DA, or in fact, the entire justice system, may not be a surprise either. It's all good too if you ask me, keeps it all a bit more friendly.

Occasionally, this whole "Let's just be nice about it, and not worry about the rules too much, just interpret it our own way, and be sure not to punish too hard!" reaches a whole new level.

Now some of you might know that I was hit by a car while riding my motorcycle a little over a year ago. Note the "was hit", ie. Someone was daft enough to run his car into me. This someone happened to be 88 years old, and unable to distinguish between the gas and brake pedal.

Insert legal papers here.

Now skip one year due to bureaucracy.

So here I was, talking to the DA so she is up-to-date regarding my situation. And we come to the topic of what punishment I can expect a judge to apply in this situation. I play the role of the concerned citizen, who has serious doubts about having a now 89, nearly 90 year old man driving on the road.

DA>First of all, it's important to remember that this is the criminal case against the suspect, so about what law he broke, not about you, this will come in the civil case against him. It's likely that the judge will revoke it temporarily, and impose a fine.
Me>Temporarily? But this guy is clearly incompetent.
DA>As I said, it's not about that here, it's about the law he broke.
Me>What if I had died.
DA>He'd have lost his license.
Me>You just said it wasn't about the result.
DA>No it isn't.
Me>Yet he'd have done the same thing.
DA>Yes.
Me>Only the result would be different, and oh, the sentence.
DA>That's right. But even a doctor wrote a statement, this here, which says "Its not too bad".

I gave up.

Turned out that they *do* look at the result (oh really?), except if after a year the victim is able to walk and smile, it's "not too bad", and people start feeling sorry for a senile who hits someone, causing major medical issues for the rest of someone's life.

Next time I'd like someone dead.. wait.. not dead, that'd get me a bad sentence... I'll be sure to hit them accurately with a bulldozer, removing his legs, arms, and crotch, but making sure he can live happily ever after as a vegetable in a hospital.

Just so I can say "It's not too bad.. he's alive isn't he?".

Wednesday 10 January 2007

About bikes!

Or at least partly about bikes.

Click here to see the sexiest bike ever. No discussion. Car nuts, go elsewhere, leather won't save you from this. Even though I had a Yamaha myself, and probably will get just that when I get the opportunity again, I have to give it to the Italians as far as looks go.

The next thing, really isn't about bikes at all, but it's a very simple game that has kept me entertained for hours, or I could say it is *very* addicting. It's called Line Rider (you can click it to go to the site to play), and well, go see for yourself.

So here I was, making my guy do some loops and silly jumps, showing it to my lovely girlfriend who too thought it was pretty interesting.

So I was feeling pretty good about it you think? Damn straight I was.

Till I saw this.

. . .

I believe her words were "Haha, where are you now with your 2 or 3 miserable lines."

Ah well, back to the drawing board.

Science

Being someone who likes technology, I must like science too surely.

And that's right.. I do.

No, seriously, I do.

And I just have to share these two things

1) Anatomy for beginners.
A show hosted by channel4 (UK) a while ago, also on dutch tv recently, as well as available on DVD on amazon here. They literally dissect a real human body bit by bit over the course of an hour or two. It was truely fascinating.. no really, it was. It's not for those with extremely weak stomachs, but I didn't find it that bad personally, in fact it's a must for anyone even remotely interested in the human body, and aren't we all?


2) Drug testing on spiders
Click here to watch the movie
Have a look first, before reading on..

Right, for a moment I thought it was actually real, which would have been equally good. But regardless of that it is still one of the more entertaining internet movies I've seen passed around recently, and that's something.

Science, Schmience, we want to be entertained.

It's good to be able to watch this and call it "Research" though, need to find a way to use this excuse for everything entertaining I come across during the day...

Tuesday 9 January 2007

Huzzah! Fanatics!

And I'm not even talking about these guys.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=5c128f4eac

Seeing that however reminded me of a documentary on ALF, the Animal Liberation Front, that I saw recently, which according to the U.S. Government is the second most dangerous terrorist network after al-Qaeda.

For me however, these are my new heroes, truely. Risking their lives and jail-time to save other living creatures. Breaking into chicken-egg-lay-machine-operations or whatever the fudge they're called, spraying their logo (ALF, in letters, by the way) on the wall, demolishing equipment, taking 5 chickens with them to live in peace at a farm, true heroism. Also beating up the evil CEO of a research facility testing cures for humanly illnesses, he had it coming. Some call them terrorists because they wear ski-masks demolishing property and beating people up while screaming about their righteousness, some call them thrill-seekers because they go on marine-esque night-time operations avoiding the police pretending to be all cool and military.

I, call them the heroes of modern society.

Wait, that's not right... hm... what was I.. ah...now I remember...

I, call them fucking idiots.

Go find something useful to do. And thanks for dropping those "liberated" chickens off at that farm, a fox told me to pass on his regards.

Writing something!

Friend: Write something in your blog!
Me: I just need some time.
Friend: say "Hello World!" or whatever

Well, probable cliché to start your blog with a quote from a conversation, but I guess I had to write something sooner or later ;-)

Truth is, I guess I do need some time, haven't quite got adjusted to being cruel and writing about the many things that come to mind, but we'll get there. After all, I have a good mentor.

Regardless, Hello World!